JUST A SIMPLE SOLDIER
He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.
Of a war that he had fought in
And the deeds that he had done.
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, everyone.
And 'tho sometimes, to his neighbors,
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened,
For they knew whereof he spoke.
But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For ol' Bob has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer,
For a soldier died today.
He won't be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.
He held a job and raised a family,
Quietly going on his way,
And the world won't note his passing;
'tho a Soldier died today.
When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell of their life stories,
From the time that they were young,
But the passing of a soldier,
Goes unnoticed and unsung.
Is the greatest contribution,
To the welfare of our land,
Some jerk who breaks his promise,
And cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow,
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his Country
And offers up his life?
The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are sometimes disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.
While the ordinary soldier,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.
It's so easy to forget them,
For it is so long ago,
That our Bob's and Jim's and Johnny's,
Went to battle, but we know.
It was not the politicians,
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom,
That our Country now enjoys.
Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?
Or would you want a Soldier,
Who has sworn to defend,
His home, his kin, and Country,
And would fight until the end?
He was just a common Soldier
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us,
We may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict,
Then we find the Soldier's part,
Is to clean up all the troubles,
That the politicians start.
If we cannot do him honor,
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage,
At the ending of his days.
Perhaps just a simple headline,
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
FOR A SOLDIER DIED TODAY"
~A. Lawrence Vaincourt~
A Soldier's Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give,
And to see just who in this home did live.
I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.
With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sober thought came through my mind.
For this house was different, it was dark and dreary,
I found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly.
The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.
The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured a United States soldier.
Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?
I realized the families that I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.
Soon 'round the world the children would play,
And grown-ups would celebrate a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
Because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.
I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
"Santa don't cry, this life is my choice;
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more,
My life is my God, my Country, my Corps."
The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
And we both shivered from the cold night's chill.
I didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night,
This Guardian of honor so willing to fight.
Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
Whispered, "Carry on Santa, it's Christmas Day, all is secure."
One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, and to all a good night.
~MAJ Bruce W. Lovely~
The Differential Theory of Special Operations Forces
(Snake Model)
Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operation (AO):
* Paratrooper: Kills the snake.
* Armor: Runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
* Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty . . . Ouch! Hey, that's not
a kitty cat."
* Infantry (alt): "Ugh! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake."
* Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Couldn't find snake. Back to base
for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake"
* Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
* Ranger (alt): Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly
snakes.
* SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire
in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats
to safety.
* Corps Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred
civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered
a success and all participants are awarded Silver Stars. (Cooks, Mechanics,
Legal Clerks etc.)
* Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost
* Combat Controller: Guides the snake elsewhere.
* Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works
to save the snake's life.
* Special Forces: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its
heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.
ENLISTMENT OATHS
U.S. AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the United
States Air Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army and because
the Marines frighten me.
I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others
more dedicated than me who take their job seriously.
I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our
bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I swear to uphold and defend
the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be
above that.
I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know
I'm not really in the military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services.
I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and will at
all times be sure to make them aware of that fact.
After completion of my -- snicker -- "basic training," I will be a lean,
mean, doughnut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, airborne Ranger. I will believe
that I am superior to all others, and will make an effort to clean the knife
before stabbing the next person in the back with it.
I will do no work unless someone is watching me (and it makes me look good),
will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day.
I consent to never getting promoted -- EVER -- and understand that all those
whom I made fun of yesterday probably will outrank me tomorrow.
So help me God. Signature:___________________ Date:________________
U.S. ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United
States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into
the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take
me because I can't swim.
I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because
I can't figure out how to use blousing straps.
I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will
continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my drill
sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I ever will
see is a court martial for sexual harassment.
I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service,
and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test.
After completion of my sexual -- er -- I mean, BASIC training, I will attend
a different Army school once every other month and return knowing less than
I did when I left.
On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am cool
and propose to my ninth-grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home,
because if I let her out she might leave me for a smarter, better-looking
Air Force guy.
While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely
nothing accomplished. I will arrive at work every day at 1000 hours because
of morning PT and leave every day at 1300 hours to report back to the "COMPANY."
I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me
get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends
from high school.
I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but
will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam.
So help me God. Signature:__________________ Date:_______________
U.S. NAVY OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away four years of
my life to the United States Navy because I want to hang out with Marines
without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force
was too "corporate," and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...Why not?"
I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1976 and to have my
name stencilled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that
I will be mistaken for the Good Humor man during the summer, and for the
Waffen SS during the winter.
I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking
world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, and head," when I really
mean "floor, wall, hat, and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact
that all Navy acronyms, ranks and insignia, and everything else for that
matter,are completely different from the other services and make absolutely
no sense whatsoever.
I will muster (whatever that is) at 0700 hours every morning unless I am
buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930 hours.
I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand
up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon and still not spill a drop.
I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice each fiscal
year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself
to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my new-found "colleagues."
So help me Neptune.
Signature:__________________ Date:_______________
U.S. MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, ________________ (state name here) swear ...uhhhh ...high-and-tight ....
...cammies ...ugh ...Air Force women....OORAH! help me Corps.
Thumb Print:___________________
