This may seem a little presumptuous of me but because of my site, I get a LOT of mail from soon-to-be military spouses. I thought I would post some of my answers to the most frequently asked questions. Even if you're not about to become a military spouse, this may provide some insight into what our lives can be like. :o)
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Q. Don't you get tired of moving?
A. Yes and no. I get tired of packing and unpacking but I like seeing new places. I spent the first 18 years of my life in the same house so it's cool to be able to experience new things. Living somewhere is totally different than visiting!
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Q. Does the military give you a free house?
A. No. The military pays service members BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing)as part of their benefit package. BAH is based upon rank and location (by zipcode). If you live on post, the service member forfeits BAH as "rent" for the military quarters. Utilities are included in military housing but military housing is not always available. You must go on the "housing list" and wait until your number comes up and you are given a house. If housing is not available, the service member keeps his/her BAH and must find housing "on the economy."
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Q. How often will my spouse be gone? Will he get to come home if I have a baby or a family emergency?
A. How often your spouse will be away from home depends on his/her job and duty station. Sometimes, it's also basically the luck of the draw. *Most* combat units spend 3-4 months in the field, not counting overseas deployments or hardship tours. They *generally* will not send your spouse to the field if you are expecting a child and are *close* to your due date but it depends on the command. If your spouse is overseas, he will *generally* not be shipped home for the birth of your child. If there is a *true* emergency, they usually do get to come home but you may have to contact the Red Cross and provide proof of the emergency.
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Q. I've heard that military medical care is horrible. Is that true?
A. Just like in the civilian community, there are good doctors and there are bad doctors. The only difference that I can *really* see is that it sometimes takes longer to get seen. If you have a problem that they cannot treat on post, they will give you a referal to be seen by a civilian. Eye glass and contact lens exams are covered but the local participating doctors generally end up creating some ridiculous fee so you have to pay anyway. Dental and orthodontic costs are covered under United Concordia which you must purchase for your family.
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Q. I've heard that the military doesn't care about spouses. Has that been your experience?
A. Not really. The military has a LOT of programs designed to help families. They do stress a "mission first attitude" because that *is* what the service members are there for.
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Q. How do you handle him being away a lot?
Stay busy and make friends. Take a class, get a hobby and don't count the days until he comes home. We also try to write and e-mail a lot when he can. Computers make everything so much easier on us today!
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Q. What are the hardest things about being a military spouse?
Not seeing my family for months at a time and not being able to plan things without having to take my husband's schedule into constant consideration.
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Q. What are the best things about being a military spouse?
Living different places, meeting people you'd never meet otherwise and developing instant friendships because people you're stationed with basically become your family while you're there!
